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Writer's pictureWendy Nicholls

How do relationships affect my weight?

Did you know that your weight is affected by romantic relationships, friendships and the people you spend time with?


This blog takes the evidence on how romantic relationships influence our weight and offers tips for you to try to break free of this influence, and get back in charge of your eating.

Does a relationship cause weight gain?

Settling down in a romantic relationship tends to lead to weight gain. In fact, 43% of women gain weight within the first year of a relationship. Living together seems to speed this up, with people putting on 3-4 pounds in as little as three months of co-habiting. One study followed 169 newly weds for four years, and another followed a large group of people through their late teens and into early adulthood. Both studies found that the first two years after marriage were a high risk time for weight gain. In fact, the happier people were in their romantic relationships, the more likely they were to put weight on.



Why does this happen?

One explanation is that our habits change when we get into new relationship. Copying the people we are in relationships with is quite automatic, and recognised as a way that we bond with one another. The trouble is that we all get swept away mimicking the eating pattern of others, and pick up new habits from them, without even noticing it. We take on the unhealthy habits of the other person, and drop some of our own healthier habits. So both people in the couple end up with double the dose of unhealthy habits. This can leave us with long term changes to our eating habits, which we don't really want. This happens so slowly and gradually, that it is hard for us to see, but it is not irreversable.


What you can do

It can help to try and figure out what habits you’ve gradually picked up and which healthy habits you have dropped. To help you really think through and identify some blindspots in your habits, you can think back to you at your healthiest, it may be before you were in a relationship, when you were in a different relationship, living somewhere different, or socialising with a different group of friends. Try to recall what your day used to look like, what you enjoyed doing, and what your eating patterns and choices were like back then. It can help to recall details like; how you organised your cupboards in the kitchen, whether you took packed lunches to work, and where you shopped for groceries. Now, taking this memory, can you write down 3-5 things that were different then, which were healthy habits, and which you would like to do more of now. Next, taking just one of these at time, work out how you can make this happen in the coming week, even if it is just a little bit. This doesn’t need to be 100% perfect. You can bring this healthy habit back into your life, a little bit at a time. Consider what start you can make, for some improvement, and set yourself a short term goal.

"I used to run marathons a few times and year and run four times a week at least. I can't keep that up anymore, but I can go for walks and I try to get outside every day, even if it is just for 20 minutes."
(Age 42, mother of 2, married for 10 years).






About Dr Wendy Nicholls

My approach at NeverDiet is based on the psychology of eating. I have been researching eating for over ten years and published over 20 papers and book chapters on weight management, emotional eating, cravings, mindful eating, and obesity. I am a registered coaching psychologist and Chartered Psychologist with the British Psychological Society, and an accredited Practitioner Executive Coach with the European Mentoring and Coaching Council.

You can book a free 15 minute consultation to find out more about the practical and simple steps you can take to make some big changes to your eating and health.



Dr Wendy Nicholls | wendy@neverdiet.co.uk | 01905 571239 www.neverdiet.co.uk




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